Sunday, January 28, 2007

More Research.

Long gone are the days of swanky Saturday night dinner parties. Non drinking, non smoking, poor vegetarians don't get invited. Change doesn't always gel with old aquaintances especially when there's nothing to gain except sound, unwanted advice but with the make or break meeting less than forty eight hours away, The Girls wanted nothing more than to curl up on the leopard print sofa and watch the box anyway. That scene just doesn't do it for them anymore and you can trust me on that.

After their daily constitution, a three mile run and a plate of brown rice and vegetables, (some may consider the bodies of Claudia Schiffer and Elizabeth Hurley respectively, a lofty goal for these well over forty gals, but as they prove every day anything is possible if you are prepared to make sacrifices. Model, model and more modelling, literally) a little voyeurism in the form of Celebrity Big Brother, their sinful treat. Did I mention they have also given up chocolate in all it's glorious forms.

I must say, considering this daily dose of caged "B" celebrities is attracting over five million viewers I think the British public have gone completely mad. Either that or there is simply nothing else on, chalk another one up for The Girls in their quest for TV stardom. When they can make an international incident out of Jade Goody put my head under the covers. That said, I am fascinated how the Channel 4 producers have managed to cast their very own version of Aladdin with Shilpa Shetty and Ian (H) from some "I lost my heart to a starship trooper" 80's dance troop, in the lead roles, holding hands and gazing adoringly into one another's eyes, without informing anyone of their undercover plot. Admittedly Shilpa makes a convincing Jasmine but Ian as leading man? What are the clandestine bedtime soirees, planned rendevues in India and "I love yous" all about. I don't understand. Isn't he gay?

Enter stage left Dirk Benedict, aka The Face, Jasmine's father of course in this theatrical debacle. Well he's old enough to be. It doesn't seem to keep him down though. I've never seen a man so happy with a large fish. Who could have known? He's had a good old go at winning Jasmine's heart. Clearly no one's informed him he's the Dad. With the "A" team's theme tune constantly pumped into the house it's not surprising the Face is in a time warp. Bless him.

Now it's a shame Widow Twanky, (Cleo Rocco) got booted out on Friday but I must say if it was a choice between her and The Genie, (you guessed it Jermaine Jackson) who would you pick? He doesn't have a lamp but everyone wants three wishes granted from him, namely to fly of on his magic carpet to Never Never Land. Would Jermaine introduce someone who thought Billie Jean King, the tennis player, the inspiration for his brother's mega hit? I think not.

The cast would not be complete with our two darlings Jo O'Meara and Danielle Lloyd. Who knows, a different cast, different year, different stage and they may have been promoted to the Ugly Sisters but they have kept us entertained in their own unique style as that old favorite, The Pantomine Horse, poor Danielle bringing up the rear. It's not surprising she was devasted when she "lost her head" in Friday's eviction but there are more shocks to come when she find's out she's been publically dumped by Teddy Sheringham and everyone knows it except her.

Oh no he didn't. Oh yes he did.

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