Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Whores of Babylon now?

Down The Bush and Blair

It's opening time and for all of you unfamiliar with British pub etiquette here's a quick glossary to get you up to speed.

The Local: The closest pub within staggering distance (no drinking & driving) of your front
door.

The Regular: A person who frequents the local more than five times per week. Not usually
considered an alcoholic.

The Usual: Drink always ordered by individual regulars.

The Lock In: After hours illegal, knees up down the local, regulars only.

The Round: A drink for everyone.

The Double or The Large One: More alcohol

On Me: You're paying.

On The House: Rare.


What's not so rare here in Hollywood is seeing Brad Pitt on the telly, sad as it is, we stayed in yet again to find out about a not so squeaky clean Brad and Jen now if you believe what you hear. What actually happened on the set of Mr. and Mrs Smith no one seems to know but that didn't stop the media, in search of anything to satiatiate the formidable appetite of the American public, turn the hardworking U.N. spokeswoman, Angelina Jolie into a whore. We love a good gossip but come come now.

What about Mr. Pitt? Has everyone forgotton he had Mrs. Pitt at home probably wishing she could nip down the pub, drown her sorrows and avoid seeing her personal life flash before her eyes on every one of the never ending list of network and cable channels. Why can't people just put themselves in someone elses shoes for a change?

It's my round is something rarely heard in these parts. The trendy bars here serve oxygen and water (smoking is a hanging offense) and the not so trendy bars offer no escape, conversation relegated to a distant third behind blaring sports commentary in surround sound and gigantic flat screens strategically placed to ensure perfect unobstructed viewing from every possible angle. The only utterances you might hear are complaints from the waitress as tipping is compulsory or Neanderthall grunts, groans, hoots and holla depending which side your on.

Not that we're anti sports, we're not but with the exception of darts, dominos, billiards and seduction sport should be played and spectated before setting foot in the pub for libation and shade.

Fortunately for Jennifer Aniston, she could stand a round at The Joiners Arms, Bruntingthorpe where she would be welcomed with open arms and wouldn't be lonely very long.

Ta Ta For Now. See you at The Shires, Peatling Parva and if you would like your pub included drop us a line and tell us why you're special because we know you are.

4 comments:

FELLOW DESIGNS said...

Hi Girls,
I'm glad to see that you have recouperated:-) Are you camera ready??

Greetings

Guy
www.fellowdesigns.com

PS.: check out my pictures from my tsunami volunteer project on my web site/blog

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